I got to thinking about my kids future education this morning. (Scary thing to do right) It all started yesterday when I asked my kids after school if they had homework and if they had papers for me to look at, they responded with a yes!They informed me that they got a “letter of intent to return” form from their school and that it was due today. First of all, I would think normally, you would give someone at least a few days to think about this decision, not just one night! Any way back to the car, son #1 was pleading wide eyed in the backseat telling me he did not want to return back to their school. My only daughter does not want to return either; she wants to go to a “real” school,one that actually offers extra curricular activities. because their current school does not. Son # 2 would like to go back no problem.
In the midst of all of this chatter I told them “No…you are not going back to school, I am going to home school you!” They all sat up in their seats looking so excitedly when they asked “really?” I replied with a smile “No, not really.” Their excitement was gone. I know it was a cruel joke to play with them like that, but some how secretly, I was kind of considering it.
So over the course of the rest of the night,until now as I am posting, I have been thinking about the possibilities of homeschooling. I don’t know if I have it in me to be able to home school them, I may be bald by the time they are all out of the house and into college- if they so choose, which they better or else! I will loose my patience, which at times I think I have a low supply of, so I don’t want to make things worse. And what about structure, I am definitely not a scheduled person, I have always had problems keeping to time constraints and scheduled lists, I do my own thing when I want to, why do you think I do not have a job at the moment? My husband helps me in that area! Plus, I am not a learned person, I foolishly dropped out of school in high school, yes, I did get my GED, but I am not educationally qualified to teach anyone- why do you think I am in school now!
That’s the other problem I face, how will I be able to home school my children and go to school my self, can this be done?What about me time? Having 4 children can ruffle the feathers on a daily basis with little time for unwinding.
In my extended neighborhood, there is a large community of homeschooling families and I really admire them. I admire their patience, their creativeness, their willingness to put their child’s needs above their own and their willingness to put their selfish ambitions aside. Not saying that its easy, but I know they will say it was worth it at the end.
I have just recently understood that my time with my kids is very short and I want more time with them, to instill thing into their lives that I have taken for granted so many times before. I want to be more involved in their lives then I have been in the past, I want them to remember wonderful memories we have built and not a sad and mediocre life, to grow up with ambition and a love to serve others. So much time passes when they’re at school, and the school nights are not filled with enough time to have the quality time that is needed. Is just homework, shower, dinner and to bed they go.
So where does this leave me, torn between two desires, wanting something but not sure I can handle it. With God all things are possible! But is this something He desires for my life? How would I get started? How will my life change, I am up for this type of change… sometimes I love change- no, I reminisce in the chance for change, we go together nicely!But this is a huge step and I do not want my kids to be dumb on my account.

Ari D.W
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